yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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