Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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