the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
