I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
