What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
