Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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