five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
