new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i think im in europe. pls send help
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
