That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
