he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
