Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
