I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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