Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
