Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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