am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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