She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize