I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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