she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
