Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Randomize