I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
