Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
