So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
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I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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