Pappa wants mamma naked
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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