Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
