plz talk dirty to me
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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