like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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