I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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