Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
