No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
