YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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