I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
