don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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