Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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