this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
