I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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