I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
