I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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