sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
