im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
