just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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