Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
