that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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