she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
