jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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