We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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