All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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