you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
