Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
