I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now