Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
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i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
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This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.