it was like his penis was on wheels.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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