I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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