Having a random hookup so left but love u
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
