You're completely useless in the revolution.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
