I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
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I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
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You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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