I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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