After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
