you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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