I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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