She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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