Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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